Double Names – not double personality

I used to go to school with a guy called John-Michael, a young fellow who gallantly defended his double name. Which as you can see is glued together with a hyphen. We used to give this guy the world of abuse for his name, all in the fun of being a school kid. He took it in his stride, so we felt ok doing it.

But the truth is it’s the easiest way to ensure that you give your child the best chance of getting teased at school. Nobody likes uniqueness at that age, and even when your older, people always call you by the first name, so what’s the point? Is the cause a tussle between parents, battling it out for name supremacy. Then when they finally decide that two names is the only way to settle the argument, who gets the first name? Do they work out which way it sounds better? Too much thinking going on, how about settling for a single name! Is that too much to ask? To those out there with double-name syndrome, you are special, just like your parents remind you, but special because your parents are brain dead morons.

Then there are those who join surnames, generally during marriage. Through the tradition of marriage, the woman takes the man’s surname and becomes part of the history of that surname. It’s the way it has been for as long as marriage has been a registered tradition. But then there are those who feel their family name is too rich in its own history to be left un-used. So they convince their husband to join the two names with the old glued hyphen trick. Affectively marking the start of a new history. Not continuing an old one. I bet these same people were married by a celebrant, used a bouquet of flowers, said 'I do' and were driven to the location in cars. So at what point do you stop following the marital traditions and begin new ones. You can’t pick and choose, that’s not the point of tradition. The mixing of surnames is the marking of a very weak man, one who should watch out for the duration of the marriage, as he will probably never make a decision ever again.
Ban joint surnames, and leave the kids alone.