Oysters – closest food to bird poo

They are served by the half or dozen, generally come in the shell in which they were grown, and they smell, to the point most people sauce them up to add taste. I'm talking of none other than the seabed variety oyster. Once I saw a dozen served on what looked like about a quarter kilo of salt, just for the look. What a waste of money, and were talking about a piece of food the size of a chewing gum. Then there is Kilpatrick, which adds bacon and attempts to re-create something digestible, and fails.

Oysters simply look like bird poo, possibly of the pelican species. Who wants to eat something that resembles the waste product of a giant ball sack beaked bird? Not me.