Drunks guzzle not drink

When you meet a drunk you will know one thing for sure, whether they are a seasoned drunk or a newbie.
I have seen plenty of drunks in my nights out, and it's clear to me there are two types of drunk when speaking of their actual drinking habits.
The first is the guzzler, this drunk cannot wait for their drink to flow freely from the bottle, they will actually slurp and gulp in order to get their alcohol expelled quicker. Its an amazing drive of desperation to assume that simply waiting for gravity to take affect is not good enough. These drunks are quite often thinking of their next drink half way through their current one. Why not buy two next time your at the bar, you could even check if they have an IV drip system for hire. This drunk may also employ the straw to aid in the circulation of air to drink the bottle quicker. This is when they put the straw into the bottle to allow for the drink to flow faster, the average drunk with a minor ability to control their gullet could finish a drink in under three seconds.
The other type of drunk is the open vessel variety. They don't like bottles as they restrict the ease of the big gulp. Typically the pint glass is favoured as it holds more and has an opening as large as a drain pipe. These drunks like to hold their glass like a security blanket, it's their friend, confidant and it will be guarded against spillage better than Exxon. A beer leaves behind evidence of how quick it is drunk. If it had a head when it was poured it will leave a trace from the top down as it's drunk quickly. If it has been a slow drink the head will either follow the liquid down or it will vanish. So the pint glass drunk will always leave a frothy wake of distinction between them and the normal beer drinker.
I must conclude that there is nothing wrong with either drunk persons drinking style, it is the actions they play out during their session that defines them. I have met some drunks who carry on so placidly that you would hardly assume they were as drunk as a sailor. But some others allow the drink to change their inhibitions, walking style and volume. There is nothing like a sober night out to observe the masses in their element. And I will be the first to admit I would have easily been all of the above at some point.